There’s a unique freedom that comes with being a woman in charge. Maybe it’s the realization that you answer to yourself or the satisfaction of knowing you get to set your own standards, define your brand, and make an impact on your terms. But every so often, someone decides it’s their job to put you back into a box of what they think you “should” be. You’d think those days would end when you traded corporate life for your own business, but as we know, they have a way of creeping back in.
Take my friend. She left her traditional 9-to-5 for consulting, determined to lead on her terms. Then came a conversation with someone who tried to make her feel “less than.” He told her that, as a Black woman, wearing a colored wig wasn’t professional. The implication was clear: stick to what makes others comfortable.
I saw red as she shared this story with me. We’re past the days of fitting into outdated molds of professionalism defined by others—aren’t we? Well, apparently not. Moments like this are more than irritating; they’re reminders that our industry still needs us to push back and redefine what it means to be “professional.”
The Trap of “Professionalism”
If you’re a woman consultant, especially one who’s also an entrepreneur, you’ve likely run into this before: advice from people (usually uninvited) on how you should look, sound, or present yourself. Society tells us to play it safe—to make ourselves palatable, to dim our lights so we don’t disrupt anyone’s expectations. But here’s the thing: playing it safe doesn’t attract the clients we’re here for. If we’re looking to work with high-value clients who respect us and our expertise, we can’t shrink ourselves to fit into a mold.
Your professionalism doesn’t depend on the color of your hair, the tone of your voice, or whether you wear bold lipstick or not. It’s about the quality of your work, the insights you bring to the table, and your dedication to your clients. And that’s what your high-end clients will see and appreciate.
Building a Brand that Breaks Barriers
Here’s the heart of the matter: Professionalism should be a reflection of you, not a one-size-fits-all concept defined by outdated expectations. And for women consultants, this goes beyond mere preference. Building an extraordinary brand—one that authentically reflects your values, strengths, and individuality—is an act of defiance against outdated norms that too often keep us “in our place.” When you create a brand that is unapologetically you, you’re not only breaking the mold; you’re shattering glass ceilings.
An extraordinary brand attracts a caliber of clientele who see and respect you, who trust your perspective, and who align with your vision. It says to the world, This is who I am, and this is why my work matters. With this foundation, you’re no longer just playing the game; you’re rewriting the rules, expanding the possibilities, and opening doors that would otherwise remain closed.
From Extraordinary Brand to Uncommon Wealth
When you lead with a brand that is powerfully true to who you are, you’re doing more than setting yourself apart—you’re positioning yourself to build uncommon wealth. High-caliber clients seek out consultants who don’t fit the traditional mold, those who can offer a fresh perspective grounded in authenticity. This is the foundation for lasting, high-value client relationships that bring in revenue, yes, but also offer long-term wealth through loyalty, trust, and repeat business.
An extraordinary brand doesn’t just draw clients—it commands respect, value, and premium rates. This is how women consultants go beyond financial success to create true wealth that supports their life, vision, and legacy.
How to Respond When Others Try to Define You
It’s essential to have a plan in place for those times when someone crosses a line with their unsolicited advice or expectations. Here are some ways to respond while keeping your integrity intact:
- “Your opinion isn’t my reality.” A simple response that asserts your autonomy without needing to justify or explain yourself. It’s a reminder to others (and perhaps even to yourself) that their perspective isn’t the one that defines you.
- “I’ll take constructive criticism, not insults.” Use this line to clarify that there’s a line between helpful feedback and unsolicited critique rooted in bias. If you’re not asking for input, they don’t need to offer it.
- “Thanks for your input, but I will stick to my own path.” Professional but firm, this response leaves no room for further discussion. You’re on a path you’ve chosen, and their feedback doesn’t sway you.
- Question Their Intentions. Sometimes, putting the focus back on them is powerful: “How does what you’re saying serve you?” or “Why do you feel the need to share this with me?” This can make someone pause and reflect, often helping them realize their advice is more about their comfort than yours.
- Stand Your Ground with Kindness: If you want to stay diplomatic yet assertive, a line like, “I’m not here to fit anyone’s standards but my own. I’m happy with who I am, and I hope you find the same happiness,” is a graceful way to show you’re at peace with yourself and don’t need outside validation.
Attracting Clients Who Respect Your Authenticity
Your ideal clients—the high-value, high-impact, “Champagne Clientele” who respect your boundaries and expertise—aren’t interested in seeing a version of you that conforms to someone else’s definition of professionalism. They value authenticity and seek consultants who bring originality, integrity, and strength to the table. These clients know that true professionalism comes from within, and they respect those who operate on their terms.
By embracing who you are and setting boundaries, you’re sending a message: If you’re my client, you get the real me—unapologetically, authentically, and powerfully. The clients who resonate with that message are the ones you’re here for. They’re the ones who will elevate your business, respect your standards, and appreciate the quality, attention, and unique perspective you bring.
Don’t Just Play the Game—Redefine It
So, the next time someone offers their unsolicited advice, remember: they don’t get to define you, and they certainly don’t get to set your standards. By owning your image and values, you attract the clients who see your worth, support your vision, and value your expertise.
You didn’t start your consulting agency to blend in. You’re here to be remarkable, to lead, and to break new ground. Building an extraordinary brand that’s true to you isn’t just a business move; it’s a revolution that allows you to break ceilings and build the uncommon wealth you deserve. It’s the ultimate statement of power, purpose, and prosperity—and it’s a journey worth taking.
So go ahead: stand tall, be bold, and may your success offend anyone who didn’t want to see you win.
PS… If you don’t want to come back to this blog to reference these scripts. I put them in this doc for you to download. Boundary Setting Scripts
