From Comparison to Confidence: Break Free from Self-Doubt and Shine as a Consultant (Part One)

Consulting is a male dominated space and falling victim to comparison as a woman is a pointless endeavor yet we have been conditioned to do so. Business consulting is a competitive world and it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. However, this can often lead to self-doubt and hinder your professional growth and minimizes your strengths. This article aims to guide you “From Comparison to Confidence,” helping you to break free from the shackles of self-doubt and shine as an extraordinary woman in b2b consulting.

Introduction to Gaining Confidence in Consulting

Confidence is built by doing. Your ability to project assurance not only influences how others perceive you but also impacts your own professional performance. Traditionally we have found that women as a whole will only go after something if they feel they check all the boxes or are over qualified. So it is no secret as to why many female consultants struggle with self-doubt, which can stem from constant comparisons with male peers who seem more knowledgeable, experienced, or successful. Understanding this means you don’t have to let society choose for you and taking steps to overcome it are crucial in developing the mental fortitude required to thrive.

Recognize Your Unique Value as a Consultant

Every consultant has unique skills and perspectives that contribute to their value and the ordinary refer to it as your unique value proposition. Recognizing and embracing your individuality is the first step towards minimizing comparisons — but there is a deeper layer to this and that is understanding: What are your beliefs around consulting and what is your philosophy in putting it out into the world? Instead of focusing on how you measure up to others, concentrate on communicating your beliefs and philosophy within the consulting space and how that will benefit your clients. This approach not only enhances your professional self-esteem but also differentiates you in a saturated market.

The Psychology Behind Comparison

Comparison is a natural human tendency, but it often stems from cognitive biases such as the ‘grass is greener’ syndrome or the spotlight effect, where you might feel like your actions and failures are more noticed than they actually are. Susie Moore, author of “Let It Be Easy” does an incredible job of teaching how to stop these thoughts. Remember at the beginging of this article how I said “Understanding this means you don’t have to let society choose for you and taking steps to overcome it are crucial in developing the mental fortitude required to thrive” well Susie would use her mind motor method to help you move past the conditioning of society so you can change your mindset and change your life! You have to analyze what you believe after stimuli happens allowing you to reframe your thoughts. The amount of times I catch myself saying “Why is that even a thing… it doesn’t have to be true for me!’ is alarming and powerful because I recognize that societies standards doesn’t have to hold me back. Understanding these psychological patterns can help you rationalize your feelings of inadequacy and reframe your thoughts towards more constructive comparisons—or get rid of them in its entirety.

Setting Personal and Professional Boundaries

Many of us want to give our all to our clients and often face the challenge of blurred lines between our personal and professional lives, which can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt beyond work. When I was consulting and building my brand agency my son was 6 years old. He would get upset with me because I worked all the time. My mom guilt started to take over my life… even though I was doing it for him. I wasn’t living my philosophy that working for myself should be a freeing experience. So I restructured my time. Instead of taking clients whenever it worked for them I moved all consulting meetings to Monday and Tuesdays until 2 pm. I left Brand projects for Wednesday and Thursdays. Then did business development on Fridays (people are nicer on Fridays!). I take a week off each quarter to go somewhere and get away once a month on a weekend. My productivity went up. My family life was stronger and my confidence grew because I was no longer over promising and under delivering to myself. Establishing clear boundaries can help you maintain a healthy work-life balance, reducing burnout and improving overall well-being. Self care doesn’t have to be spas and vacations…. it can be getting organized and holding to your own expectations.

Conclusion for Part One

It’s essential to recognize the unique value you bring to the table and to understand the psychological tendencies that may hinder your progress. Embracing your individuality and setting clear boundaries are pivotal steps in building the confidence needed to shine as a consultant. In the next part of this series, we will delve deeper into actionable strategies and practical tips to further boost your confidence, including developing a growth mindset and leveraging mentorship. Stay tuned for more insights that will empower you to thrive in the consulting world allowing you to BrandExtraordinary with unwavering self-assurance.

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FAQs for Part One

1. Why is it important to recognize my unique value as a consultant?

Recognizing your unique value helps you differentiate yourself in a competitive market. It allows you to focus on your strengths and communicate your unique perspective and skills to clients, thereby enhancing your professional self-esteem and confidence.

2. How can understanding the psychology behind comparison help me as a consultant?

Understanding the psychology behind comparison, such as cognitive biases and societal conditioning, allows you to rationalize feelings of inadequacy. By reframing your thoughts, you can move past negative comparisons and focus on constructive self-improvement.

3. What are some common cognitive biases that lead to comparison?

Common cognitive biases include the ‘grass is greener’ syndrome, where you believe others have it better, and the spotlight effect, where you think your actions and failures are more noticeable than they are. Recognizing these biases can help you mitigate their impact on your confidence.

4. How do personal and professional boundaries affect my confidence as a consultant?

Establishing clear boundaries helps maintain a healthy work-life balance, reducing burnout and feelings of inadequacy. By managing your time effectively and ensuring you have time for self-care, you can boost your productivity and confidence.

5. Can you provide an example of setting effective boundaries in consulting?

One effective approach is to structure your work week to balance client meetings, project work, and business development. For instance, dedicate specific days to client consultations, project execution, and networking or administrative tasks. This not only improves productivity but also ensures you have time for personal life and self-care.

6. What role does self-care play in building confidence?

Self-care is crucial for maintaining mental and physical well-being, which directly impacts your confidence. It doesn’t have to be extravagant; simple practices like regular breaks, exercise, and hobbies can significantly boost your overall well-being and professional performance.

7. How can I stop comparing myself to my male peers in consulting?

Focus on your unique strengths and contributions rather than measuring yourself against others. Understand that everyone has a different path and set of skills. Reframe your mindset to value your own achievements and growth instead of getting caught up in comparisons.

8. What is the “mind motor method” mentioned in the article?

The “mind motor method,” as taught by Susie Moore, involves analyzing and reframing your thoughts after a stimulus occurs. It helps you recognize and change negative thought patterns that stem from societal conditioning, enabling you to develop a more positive and confident mindset.